One of the worse things we can experience is the loss of a relationship. Breakups and Divorces can wreak havoc on you emotionally.
If you don’t know my story, I have had two very devastating breakups – a divorce and the ending of an engagement. And I am often asked how did I get over the heartbreak? How did I recover?
Here are my tips on how to cope with a bad breakup:
- Write a letter.
If your relationship ended abruptly without a chance to have a conversation, the next best thing is to write a letter. Tell him how you really feel, how he hurt you, and what you really think about him. This is a great way to get your thoughts and feelings off of yourself. But, whatever you do, do not send it to him. This letter is meant for you and only you. No matter the urge, resist the temptation to send the letter.
- Allow yourself to cry and feel the pain.
The ending of a long term romantic relationship will cause you to experience a heartbreak like none other, especially ones that ended abruptly. What you will feel is similar to mourning the death of a loved one. In reality, that is exactly the emotional state you are in. You are in a state of mourning. So allow yourself to mourn. Allow your heart to break. Allow yourself to cry. This is the beginning of healing.
- Get help.
Seek help from a counselor, a grief coach, or a relationship coach to help get you through the process of grieving and putting the pieces of your life back together.
- Get deeper into your spiritual practice.
Pray and read uplifting spiritual texts. Seek spiritual counseling. Leaning on your faith and spiritual practice helps you by teaching you to accept two things: The things that you lose were never meant for you; There will be some things you will never receive answers to or closure.
- Remove all reminders of the relationships.
Delete or hide pictures on your phone or computer. Pack up any gifts or memorabilia from the relationships. The phrase “out of sight, out of mind” works well here.
These are just a few of the things you can use to help you cope with and get over the ending of a relationship. No matter which of these practices you intend to do, remember one thing – the ending of something makes room for something greater to start.
~SAM
