The question was recently asked of me “How do you handle a difficult boss? Should I address the issue?” Here is my answer:
It depends on what the problem is. If it is his attitude, management style, his communication style, or you feel that your boss simply doesn’t like you, address the issue with him.
But, instead of addressing the issue head-on, I would suggest that you take a different approach. Ask for feedback. You can say “I noticed yesterday that you were especially irritated with the way I presented the report on XYZ. What would you suggest that I do different? Or, what would you have liked to have seen done?”
Do this each time you notice that your boss is not treating you with the respect you deserve. He will eventually notice the pattern and begin to adjust his attitude, or you two will come to an understanding of his expectations of you and your role.
If you have a problem with your boss because you don’t think he is good at his job, no, I would not suggest that you address the problem with him. At this point, this becomes a personal attack and will not be received well by any means. Instead of addressing the issue, groom yourself to become the boss.
If the problem you have with your boss is more serious – he has a problem with your gender, race, or nationality – I would suggest that you have a conversation a conversation with him first.
I once had a co-worker who had seniority in the company I worked for (he wasn’t labeled as my boss, but he gave me direction and work) – who came out and told me that he thinks that the only reason I was hired was because I was black and that he felt that I was underqualified for the job – which is why he treated me the way he did. I did feel like that was a personal attack on me. However, I chose to have the conversation (I had only been employed by the company a couples of months at this time). After a series of questions I asked him, we agreed to disagree. BUT, we did agree to be respectful of each other. And if I wasn’t qualified for the job, then the quality of my work would show. We did not argue. We had a conversation. But I led the conversation by asking questions to gain understanding how he came to the conclusion he had about me (which, he did not have a basis for). When it was all said and done, he changed his perspective about me and blacks in general.
In other scenarios where you feel that the situation could turn hostile, involve HR.
In all cases, your job is your livelihood. If you feel that your relationship is your boss is negative, don’t put too much effort to try to change him or change his mind. You cannot control another human being. You can only control yourself. Only work for people and companies where you can have a pleasant experience. If this means changing jobs, do it.
~Sherica
