As I was doing research for my upcoming book “Sever the Cycle of Self-Sacrifice” this question became a reoccurring theme among women:
Must we be less ambitious in order to be happy?
Although we always preach the message “You can have it all,” it’s not always as easy as it sounds. And with statistics showing that mid-career professional women are the least happiest with the overall quality of their lives says that women are still struggling with being ambitious, successful, and happy – all at the same time.
In spite of the statistic, let me reassure you that you do not have to be less ambitious in order to be happy.
But the question that still remains is HOW can we be ambitious and happy?
Here are 7 things you can do to help you achieve success and happiness as a busy, ambitious, and wildly successful woman:
- Define what happiness looks like and feels like to you. Often times, we let social standards creep into our personal standards – which oftentimes isn’t in alignment with who we are on a soul level. Think about what makes you happy, not just on a surface level, but on a soul and spiritual level. What would your life ideally look like if your soul was immensely happy?
- Take your focus off of “securing the bag.” And focus more on doing what fulfills you and utilizes your gifts and talents. We all want more money. Not because we have an unhealthy love of money, but because money is a tool that gives us access to certain things in life. But when we make our #1 focus on making money, we lose focus on what we are really trying to achieve – soul happiness. Do what you have to do to keep your soul happy. When you do, doors of opportunities will open that will bring more money, and other things, to you.
- Be your best friend and not your worst critic. One of the reasons it’s so easy for women to be hard on other women is because we are equally as hard on ourselves. When we become overly critical of ourselves, you are literally killing your spirit and quenching your own fire. Instead, be your own best friend – kind, motivating, supportive, hopeful, optimistic, laughing at your stale jokes. . . J Build yourself up instead of tearing yourself down.
- Hire people to do the things you least like to do like cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, grocery shopping, etc. No one says that you have to do everything yourself! A personal assistant is more affordable than you think. Check out care.com
- Incorporate fun time into you daily schedule. All work and no play makes for a boring and uninspired life. Whatever your idea of fun is, just do it!
- Incorporate family time into your daily schedule. Whether single or married, children or no children, family (by blood or not) forms the base of all of our human relationships. Prioritize spending quality time with those who mean the most to you on a weekly basis.
- Meet regularly with a therapist and/or life coach. You’re never too old or too successful to see a therapist or coach. All that you have and all that you will accomplish starts with your mind. If you are not intentional with keeping your mental health in top notch shape, you’ll fall into the cycle of stress, anxiety, sleeplessness, and unhappiness. Not everyone who has a coach and a therapist has a problem. The most successful (and happy) women in the world have SEVERAL people on their team – multiple coaches for each portion of their lives as well as a therapist. No matter how educated, self-aware and driven you are, there are things you just cannot see and things you’ll need help working your way through. Everyone benefits when you make your mental health a priority.
The truth is that being ambitious, successful, and happy creates intention. Securing the bag or attaining titles and accolades does not guarantee happiness. Neither does proudly taunting your ability to juggle multiple hats, roles, responsibilities, all to the detriment of your own peace and sanity. Make your overall happiness your #1 priority. If you don’t, no one else will.
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–Sherica
