As a female leader in a male dominated field, I often find myself feeling the pressure of making sure that I leave a good impression for the future female leaders who will one day fill my shoes. There are so many stereotypes about women that are prevalent. So, when it comes to decision making, I try to think about how others will perceive my actions so that my mistakes or mis-judgements won’t leave a stain for future leaders.
However, I was reminded this week that someone will always find something wrong with what you do – no matter how good your intentions are.
In my industry, in particular, I have noticed throughout my 20 year career that most people have very negative, pessimistic attitudes about EVERYTHING. I am not quite sure where this stems from. It could be the constant pressure to deliver high value with less money and a shortened schedule. It could be the repeated disappointments experienced due to corporate leaders failing to follow through on promises or not valuing their employees.
You could be excited about winning the $10 Million Lottery, and they will complain about having to go to the office to pick up the 8-figure check.
So, when I received a very public complaint about something that I was doing (on my own time) that was a benefit for anyone who wanted to participate, I was a little more than annoyed. But, instead of snapping, I engaged the complainant in conversation to try to understand what the problem was. When I had an idea about where his complaints were coming from, I thanked him for the conversation. I then asked if he would like to work with me to close the gap. His response? “I would, but I have a job to do.”
Which just goes to show a few things:
- Some people just want to be seen and heard. This person may not have really wanted to be a part of the solution. But he wanted to feel as if his voice was heard and taken seriously.
- Choosing to maintain my posture allowed this person to open up and have a productive conversation. But there was no scenario where I could have done anything to convince this person to be a part of the solution.
- I have to be ok with not making everyone happy – even when my intentions are good. I have to keep doing the best I can, giving the best I have, and let the cards fall where they may. At the end of each day, I go home feeling fulfilled and satisfied with the fact that I made a positive contribution to my job and those around me.
So, as we head into a new week, remember your goal isn’t to be liked my everyone. And your goal isn’t to get everyone’s approval. Your goal is to show up each and every day and make the best use of your time, gifts, and talent. You can’t control other people’s perception of you. You can only control you and how you show up.
~Sherica
